


I love you

by staticpetrichor



Series: ACOTAR prompts [5]
Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Panic Attacks, Tumblr Prompt, the college au prompts keep comin in so ig this baby is getting developed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 11:28:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21898846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/staticpetrichor/pseuds/staticpetrichor
Summary: from the anon prompt "FIRST I LOVE YOU IN THE COLLEGE AU"
Relationships: Feyre Archeron/Rhysand
Series: ACOTAR prompts [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1429963
Kudos: 63





	I love you

**Author's Note:**

> this one is kinda awful tbh but its 3 am so thats gonna excuse all mistakes yes? yes

It happened so suddenly Feyre wasn’t sure if she’d actually said it or if it had only echoed in her thoughts where it belonged. But no, Rhys’ head snapped towards her and an odd look crossed his face. Like a worse, more cutting version of shock. It tore through her, digging fish hooks into her heart, snagging and clinging.

“Fuck. I-, it just slipped out, I’m sorry it’s way too soon and you, Rhys you definitely don’t have to say it back or - or anything and -” 

“Feyre,” Rhys interrupted, rounding the small bar in her kitchen and stopping a few feet in front of her, that awful expression gone. Concern replaced it as she took in a hasty breath, her lungs straining, throat burning and nose wrinkling with the effort of not crying. She wasn’t going to cry, it was just a stupid mistake, he wouldn’t be upset. 

And just because he didn’t say it back didn’t mean he never would.

After all they’d only been together for two months, it was insane to think he’d feel the same, after all she wasn’t even entirely certain _she_ felt that way. But Feyre couldn’t rationalize the sudden all encompassing panic away. 

Rhys didn’t touch her, didn’t reach a hand out to wrap around her wrist, but instead ducked his head until she had no other choice but to meet his gaze.

“Christ, please don’t apologize and just try and take a deep breath with me, yeah?” He took a ridiculously exaggerated breath that under any other circumstance might’ve made her laugh. She tried to copy him, a shaking hand tugging the hem of her shirt away from her neck,_ too confining, cutting into her throat, she couldn’t fucking breathe._

Now his hand caught her own, placed it firmly above his heart, “In and out with me, love. You’ve got this, just go nice and slow.” 

Feyre forced out any thought that didn’t involve the steady rise and fall of his chest. The soft contraction of muscle, the thrum of a slightly too fast heartbeat. Slowly her body began to mimic his, falling into the pattern and easing the invisible weight off her breast. 

“Better?”

Feyre nodded, not quite ready to open her mouth and break the fragile peace around them. 

“Let’s go sit down, okay?” 

She hated the way he said it, his tone too similar to that of the cliched ‘we need to talk’ to provide any real comfort. But Feyre agreed, a new knot forming in her stomach as she did. 

⁂

Rhysand had experienced that bone deep, helpless sort of terror a few times in his life. 

Like when he received a call telling him that his parents and sister had been in a car accident and he’d had to wait two days before the doctor could tell him if they would ever even make it out of the ICU.

Or when Az told him the true story behind those scars on his hands and he listened without making a single sound as his brother told him what his parents had done to him, to a _child_ whose only crime was being born. 

But now, after watching the love of his life’s face go white then red, seeing her eyes wild and panicked, fingertips scraping uselessly against her own throat, after watching her struggle to and then just fucking stop breathing, all Rhys could think was_ that’s three. _

He hated the idea of another moment like those. 

Feyre sat beside him on her and Mor’s futon, face drawn and blank, fingers fiddling with a hangnail. All because she told him that she loved him and he’d been too stunned to respond in kind. 

He wouldn’t make that mistake again. Should’ve told her awhile ago, but truth be told Rhys was nervous about how she’d react. He didn’t know exactly what had happened with her last relationship but whatever it was had been bad enough to make her … cagey when it came to things like titles and, he had assumed, the L word. 

But now he had a chance to fix things and that’s exactly what he was going to do. 

“I love you.” 

Feyre shook her head, although her hands stilled as she whispered, “You don’t have to.”

“A little late for that.”

“No, I mean you don’t have to say it back right now. I don’t want it if it isn’t true.” 

And that stung a bit, that she could so easily doubt that he loved her and he once again wondered how someone as amazing as her could be filled with so much self-doubt. What had happened to make second guessing people come that easily. 

“I’ve been in love with you for quite awhile now. Was uh, just waiting for you to say it first, honestly.” 

Her red rimmed eyes narrowed as she finally looked at him, “Why?”

“Nervous I guess. About how you’d react, didn’t want you to feel like I was rushing you into something.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Like for real, not-just-saying-it-out-of-pity kind of ‘I love you’?”

He couldn’t keep himself from scoffing and she was quick to scowl as she said, “That was a serious question.”

“Yes, Feyre. A one thousand percent real, deadly serious ‘I love you’.” 

The hint of a smile pulled at her mouth, making any uncertainty he had about her feelings dissolve. 

“That’s really good.”

“Is it?” He let one of his hands tuck a stray piece of golden-brown hair behind her ear, relishing the way her smile grew.

“Yeah. Because I love you too. Like a lot.” And damn him if hearing the words again, this time spoken with such quiet conviction, didn’t make him feel like the luckiest bastard alive. He wanted to respond in the same playful way that she had but couldn’t find it in him to say anything but the absolute truth.

His hands cupped her face as hers slipped around his neck, a finger twirling in the bit of hair at the nape of his neck, “I love you Feyre Archeron. So very much.” 

She kissed him then, somehow both fiercer and more tender than ever before, and Rhys looked forward to whispering those three words against her skin long into the night.


End file.
